Friday, September 16, 2005

Dear father
These in my point of view are points which may be of help to any guy who wants to be a beloved parent to his daughter(s) !! Ok!Girls, I know what you need to ask.This is actually the recepie of the main dish in the meal of your husband,brother or son.It's so difficult to convince them to try the new dish unless you're so lucky,but believe me it's worth trying.
1) Don't always criticize her.Start by saying ok! And expressing that it's something good.If she speaks about an idea,an act,a decision or something she had done and you didn't like so much do so then follow in a slow and clever manner what needs improvement emphasizing that you liked it allover.
2) Try to notice her hairdo,her makeup,her clothes and comment positively about anything new she has .Mention how beautiful she is, how nice is her dress.This will helps much to increase her feminine sense.
3) Try not to yell at her, not to call her names, not to speak infront of her using bad words.This is actually of a great importance because she is going to be a mother.Gaining such expirements will affect her children negatively especially if she herself became used to say such words.
4) Always treat her as if she is something so fragile,so delicate and so precious.This will enable her to be one.Avoid hurting her as much as you can.Believe me any hurt can be very easily avoided and is much difficult to repair.
N.B.following 3 and 4 will allow her to think nicely of you.She will stop fear you and will consider you as a friend of hers.
5) Show her how a gentleman could be.Never beat her.allow her to choose for herself and for you.Let her go first,ask for her opinion,..etc.This can be the way to teach her how to grow a gentleman one day.
6) Allow her to talk to you,express her feelings,her dreams and her hopes.Don't ever force her to think your way or the way you choose for her.Just propose the idea and let her think of it loudly with you.Start this early because then it would be much easier to build on.
7) If something special can be kept between you and her:a word or an act.This would be lovely.It can be your little secret and this will make her know that secrets can be shared with daddy.
8) Remind her of how much you care for her, remember her and love her every now and then. Never use the conditioned love .This will be terrifying for her .your relationship can be enforced by specializing an hour a day to be with her .Only for her .It can be for a walk or for tea for example.
9) Care about all her work ,her school ,her friends .Follow up and supervise without making her think you're an intruder.Just make it a way of expressing careness.
10) Differentiate between the time of serious talk and kidding.She needs to know that she can have a serious talk with her dad as well as being able to have fun with him.
11) Don't ever start with NO!Listen to all what she asks and give yourself time to think if refusal is really needed in such situation or it's only a way to escape responsibility.Well-reasoned refusals are much better,but take care !"Do never accept one thing then refuse it for a set of fluffy reasons ".This will make her feel that disobeying is her right. You yourself had no reason for the refusal once before.
12) Overcome your rage when she tells you about something wrong she did.If you started shouting she won't tell you all.Besides she will keep many things from you afterwards.
13) Being her friend has only one way:occupy her,understand her and start as early as possible.Bear in mind that she needs you even if she tries to convince herself that she doesn't
If you approached her a little she'll approach you more
*Give her a chance to throw herself in your arms and to cry over your shoulders when she needs to.It differs a lot.
*Give yourself a chance to be her first choice when she needs councelling.
*Give yourself a chance to be her picture for the guy she hopes to marry and the son she hopes to raise
*You need her as much as she needs you.If not more.
*Your relationship with her mother differs a lot.Be quite intellegent if any problem occurs.
*The other way around will save you a little effort at the beginning but will cost you a lot at the end.Simply you'll demolish a lot and build so little.
La brize

dear La brize,
I'm grateful that I've found your posts..."dear father" is sensitive and sensible, "reconsidering life" just hitting the point. I enjoyed the beauiful language...thanks

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